Growing up outside of Asian culture but being deeply immersed in it through my journey with guzheng and East Asian traditions, I’ve come to admire—and sometimes wrestle with—the concept of filial piety. At its heart, filial piety is about honoring and respecting your elders, caring for your family, and carrying your lineage with dignity. In Confucian thought, it’s called Xiao, and it’s more than just a tradition—it’s a way of structuring your life around duty and compassion. What struck me the most when I first learned about it was how it permeates everything—from how one speaks to their parents to how families make decisions together, even across generations.
Over time, I’ve seen how filial piety shows up in different ways, especially among my Asian American friends and collaborators. Some of them talk about how their parents have strong expectations—what to study, who to become, how to live. That’s part of what’s called strict authoritarian filial piety, where elders make many of the decisions for the younger generation. Others come from families that still value obedience and respect but allow for more discussion, known as respectful obedience. I’ve had deep conversations with students and artists who feel caught in between—honoring their family’s sacrifices while longing to follow a path of their own. Honestly, that’s something I relate to, too. As a Black artist choosing to play a traditional Chinese instrument, I’ve had to walk my own unconventional road—and it wasn’t always easy getting support or understanding.
Filial piety isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s a cultural framework. But like any tradition, it needs to evolve. I’ve learned that balance is key. There’s wisdom in honoring those who came before you, but there’s also strength in forging your own path. I believe parenting—whether rooted in Asian tradition, Western psychology, or a blend of both—works best when it’s rooted in mutual respect, open communication, and emotional safety. When we allow young people to honor their roots and grow their wings, we build families that don’t just survive, but thrive. That’s something I see reflected in my music, in my teaching, and in the stories I hear from young people navigating the complex beauty of bicultural identity.
Jarrelle ( jieao 杰遨 ) Barton
Reference:https://lhsepic.com/8371/in-depth/exploring-filial-piety-in-asian-cultures/
